Tuesday, March 18, 2014

F#24: Festivities

I like small parties.  I like opening a bottle of wine (or five), walking around and chatting while we munch on food of questionable healthiness.

But, as a perfectionist, I don't like to plan/throw parties.  I am always worried SOMETHING will go wrong, and that my guests will never forgive me for whatever it is I messed up: not enough food, not enough seats, inviting someone I shouldn't have, bad taste in music...

So now I find myself throwing a sixth birthday party, seven months too late.  My stepson didn't have a sixth birthday party because he was moving into a new house at the time.  My husband and I have taken up this particular mantle, even though we have never done this before.  

Most people get to build to birthday number six.  The first few years are families coming together, maybe a handful of children the special guest's age.  By the time the child gets into preschool, the party-thrower knows what the kid generally likes and dislikes when it comes to soirees.

I didn't get truly involved until my stepson's third birthday.  My husband and I had not started dating yet when he turned one, so I missed that.  I don't remember why I wasn't at party number two.  By party number three, we were helping with purchasing things, but not planning.

I want to throw this kid the best un-birthday party I can, because he's awesome and he deserves it.  We're hoping to surprise him (who wouldn't be surprised about a party well after one's birthday?), and that he gets to see a lot of his family and friends together in one place, something that is quite a feat given how many branches are involved.

If I don't survive this adventure, please send someone to feed my cats.

Sunday, January 19, 2014

F#23: Fighting the Good Fight

There was an op-ed in the local paper this morning by a middle school English teacher.  In it, she lamented the state of teaching in the US and debates, as so many articles seem to lately, whether or not she should give up the career altogether.

The latest and greatest thing to gripe about in education is the Common Core, a set of standards developed by twenty-three states in an effort to make education more uniform in our country.  The high-stakes test, Smarter Balanced, is also a national test; for the first time, students in different states can be compared against the same set of criteria, and not using the individual state tests that didn't really assess the same things.

I, for one, have been excited about the Common Core.  As I look it over, I see a return to thinking, analysis, and important writing skills; these were lost arts under our previous high-stakes test, which cared much more for the feelings of students and didn't care if your spelling was atrocious or if you didn't capitalize a single word.  (e.e. cummings you aren't, kiddos; please start your sentence with a capital letter.)

The author of the op-ed was most concerned that students will not be reading literature in English class anymore.  False.  The English Language Arts standards actually apply to all subject areas when it comes to reading.  Students read nonfiction in every class they take: science, social studies, math, gym, health.  If you visit the Common Core website (http://www.corestandards.org/), these other subjects have their own tabs under the ELA standards as a way to point out that reading is a school-wide effort.  We don't have to give up Shakespeare or Babbit (as the author of this article suggests).  

The op-ed writer also laments that the Smarter Balanced test will be on the computer, and that some students don't own computers.  I appreciate this problem, more so perhaps than this particular teacher does.  Many of my students come from computer-less homes.  The world, however, is not computer-less.  Almost every job out there requires interacting with technology.  And while many people out there naively call this generation "digital natives", they are incorrect.  Yes, my students know how to SnapChat and Instagram, but they don't know how to double space a document in Microsoft Word, and some of them don't even have email addresses.  So who, exactly, is going to educate them on how to use the technology that the rest of the world will expect them to use?  Oh, that would be us, their teachers.  


Finally, the op-ed writers bemoans that teachers are no longer being treated as professionals.  This is not new.  Although we must hold advanced degrees to keep our jobs (at least in this state), we are often talked about as if we are all, truly, only in it for July and August.  "They" evaluate us (mostly) on how well our students perform on this one test.  It's not fair.  Would I rather be evaluated by former students, those who have graduated and realize now I was right about a lot of things?  Yes, obviously.  But that's not how the system works.  At least with this new test, "they" will be evaluating student GROWTH, not so much how many kids are "at grade level".  (This is my current understanding.  That may change.  It probably will.  This is the education field, after all.)  I too, op-ed writer, have students reading at the third grade level--and I teach high school.  But, if at the end of the year, I've maybe moved that student to grade five, well, I'd consider that some excellent progress.

I don't mean to sound like a Common Core lemming.  There are problems with the whole system, if for no other reason than it was designed by people who are not educators, or people who haven't been educators for a long time.  But it is so much better than what we've been working with since I started eleven years ago.  It will take many years to see the full effect of these new standards and the op-ed writer and I will see these results later than others, as our students have had the least amount of exposure to the new standards and curricula.

But, as much as they drive me crazy sometimes, I have faith in my students.  I do believe they can succeed, even if they will hate me for pushing them and making them do the work over.  Those of us at the secondary level will have to have faith in our elementary colleagues and their ability to give the students the springboard to do amazing things when my stepson is a high school freshmen.  For now, we do the best we can with what we've got.  We tweak our current lessons to ask less about feelings and more about imagery.  We start counting those misspelled words and every uncapitalized 'i' we see.

At the end of the day, I go home exhausted.  I am only in control of the forty-eight minutes the students are in front of me; I cannot help what goes on with them at home.  I can, and will, continue to be saddened by the choices some parents have made about their child's education before the student walked into my classroom.  But I can't change it now.  I can only work with it.

So, op-ed writer, if you'd like to leave education, that's fine.  I will continue to fight the fight with my under-performing, under-nourished students.  I will be called names and told I'm unreasonable and "too hard".  But I've had enough former students contact me, apologizing, telling me they really did learn a lot from me.  So I know what I'm doing is working.  And I will embrace the Common Core, because it is part of my job now.  And I will do the best I can with what I've got, because at the end of the day, that's really all any of us can do.  

Saturday, January 18, 2014

F#22: Fluffy Friends

As the alarm woke me up this morning, I realized I had clumped the blankets between my arms the way a child would cradle a stuffed animal.

I slept with a stuffed animal on and off during my childhood, and Eeyore came with me to college.  I still have the stuffed animals from when I was very little, a polar bear and a monkey my father gave me.

I am so amused to watch my stepson when he comes over, as he gets ready for bed.  The stuffed animals he has with him, from home and here, take up more room in the bed than he does.  He still has a little bear from when he was first born, and we absolutely have to make sure that one is in bed with him before we say goodnight.

Obviously, I love cuddling with my husband and my cats.  But there is something about curling your arms around a stuffed animal, knowing it will be in the exact same place when you wake up in the morning.  Or, if you toss it around, it won't complain; rolling over on Eeyore's ear or tail didn't make him squawk.  (Not that Eeyore would squawk.  I mean, he's Eeyore.)

So, let us bring back the stuffed animal as a perfectly acceptable bed time companion, regardless of age or gender!

Thursday, January 2, 2014

F#21: Flashback...and forward

It's the time of year when we are all supposed to take stock of what has happened, set goals for what WILL happen, and then try to figure out how to get from Point A to Point B.  Since my school district let me out early on account of weather, I thought I would take this unexpected moment to do just that.

2013 was...a weird year.  I went from "in a relationship" to "engaged" to "married" in twelve month period.  More strangely, I went from "Daddy's girlfriend" to "step-mom", a fact around which I am still wrapping my brain.  My confidence in my ability to do my job fluctuated almost daily, and I was alternately excited for the future of humanity and very, very worried.

Those around me suffered a lot of ups and downs as well, and I did what I could to help.  The fear we all felt when my best friend went into labor three months early is now overshadowed by the amazing baby girls she keeps letting me play with.  My father lost a close friend from his childhood; my husband lost a great-aunt and great-uncle.  My brother and his wife have had their own struggles...but the also have a new puppy.

2013 got me diagnosed with high blood pressure, and saw me take up running, something I swore I would never do.  I haven't put on my running shoes since my wedding day, mostly because it is too cold outside and I'm too cheap to join a gym.  I know I am starting to put some of the weight back on, but I also saw real success in weight loss in 2013, so I know it can be done, if I just get off my butt.

2014 is going to present its own set of challenges, some foreseen, some unexpected.  I'm not going to make any resolutions, but I am going to make a list of hopes:  

I hope this year sees myself and my husband continue to grow as a couple, even as we get healthier and shrink as physical beings.  
I hope that I can find the parts of my job that I truly do love and capitalize on them, even as I slowly want to pull my hair out.  
I hope that this year marks the beginning of the end of debt, and the beginning of the beginning of financial solvency.  
Counter to that, I hope we can begin making the improvements to our condo so that it works for us in a better way than it does now.  
I hope this year my cats finally stop peeing in the corner of the living room, as I am at my wit's end with that.  

But I also have hopes for my friends and family: that they stay healthy, wealthy, and wise.  That those of them trying to start families are given the success they deserve, and that the good times out number the bad.  If we do all hit bumps in the road, I hope we can rely on each other to pick us up off the ground and get started again.

These are not new, or profound hopes.  These are not original or particularly exciting.  But when I think about how truly lucky I am in so many ways, I only hope I can keep that in mind whenever things get a little...wonky.

Oh, and I hope that the new seasons of Downton Abbey, Sherlock, and Doctor Who don't let us down.

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

F#20: Four Days

In the grand scheme of things, these last ten months have flown by.  And in four days, I will be a Mrs.  My old-married-couple friends tell me nothing much changes, especially if you have been living in sin, as we have.  Still, my signature will have a few extra letters, and I will officially have a step-son.  

There is not a great deal left to do.  Unfortunately, the tasks I do have to complete are unnecessarily last minute.  This, I suppose, is the karma for me not freaking out about most of the wedding planning experience.  The Universe is saying "Look, here are some last-minute guest issues you need to resolve."  Awesome.  Thanks Universe.

I know, in the end, what matters is that The Fiance becomes The Husband.  If people flake about showing up, I guess that means extra food and cupcakes for the rest of us.

I know everyone who plans a wedding jokes about eloping.  If I'd known my grandparents couldn't come, I may have done some sort of destination event and just told people where and when it would be.  Still, as the snow falls outside, I know it will be beautiful on Saturday.  It will be cold, but that's what I get for a December wedding in New England.

Now, who wants to take bets on how far into the reception before we get the baby question?  Double or nothing if you guess the correct relative/friend to ask. ;)

Sunday, October 13, 2013

F#19: Failure

Things took an extra crazy turn Labor Day weekend when my fiance dislocated his ankle and my fifteen minute commute became an hour so I could drive him to work.

As a result of this, I have been thinking about failure.  Little failures, big failures; my failures, others' failures.  As someone with a competitive nature (against myself or others), I hate the idea of not winning.  Coming in even second or third will still irk me, because I could have been better.

But let's start with the failures of others.  Specifically, Congress.  We're in day twelve (or thirteen) of the shut down.  Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert have been doing a great job lambasting them all, while NPR is covering it with a bit more neutrality.  Every morning we get into the car and, before we turn on the radio, we ask ourselves "Is the government still shut down?"  The answer has been yes.

Which is stupid.  Look, ObamaCare is a law.  If Republicans want to over turn it, they should put up enough quality candidates next year to replace the Democrats and then have it overturned that way.  But as it stands, the idea of affordable health care for all Americans is a thing that is happening.  So stop dragging your feet and get your acts together.  REAL people are wondering how they are going to pay their bills, while you are using the gym and sauna (because those are apparently "essential" to the government).  This failure to pass a budget, and the looming failure to raise the debt ceiling cannot end well if someone doesn't put on their big boy panties and deal with it.


My own failures are more eclectic.  I am currently failing at housekeeping because I don't have the energy after my two hours in the car, on top of my actual job of teaching.  And today, when I have the house to myself...getting out the vacuum is absolutely the last thing I want to be doing.  Tangentially, I am also failing at cooking anything of quality with regularity.  

At work, I am feeling like a failure as well.  I don't have enough time before or after school to get my act together, and the little time I have during the day is just enough to breathe.  My classes are huge this year, bigger than they've been since I first started, and it's taking a lot of energy to wrangle that many teenagers, many of whom REALLY do not want to be there.  I want to try new things, be creative and amazing, but I am failing to trust my students to be able to take the road less traveled.  (I did try something on Friday, and the success level was...minimal.)

I'm also feeling like a failure as a bride-to-be.  I am obviously SO excited to be getting married, specifically to my fiance as opposed to anyone else.  But I'm not feeling the excitement right now; I'm only looking at the things that still aren't done and wondering how it'll all work out.  We don't have music chosen yet for our first dance; no rings have been purchased because I can't find what I want (a failure on my part to want a lot of bling).  

There's also kitty-mom failure.  Someone is still peeing in the corner, even after we tore up our wood floor in the corner and exposed the concrete.  These are some of the most loved cats on the planet, and they thank me by urinating on my floor.  Awesome.  Thanks guys.  What am I doing wrong?

I'm sure I'm also failing to remember other things I am currently failing at.  

There seems to be some success in the weight loss/healthy life category.  Taking up running this summer has not been an enjoyable experience, but many people who see me are commenting that there is apparently less of me.  I haven't put myself on a scale in a while, but my clothes do feel a little bit different.  And my wedding dress did need to be taken in more than I expected, so that's something.

Friday, August 2, 2013

F#18: Fast vs. Frugal vs. Fresh

Many things are once again conspiring to have me be healthier and lose some weight: wedding in t-minus four months, cholesterol that's just this side of high, and a fun new development--high blood pressure.  (Plus, one of my bridesmaids, a nurse and the mother of a toddler, is kicking some serious physical fitness ass, and I want in on her success.)

So, I joined myfitnesspal.com, I've started a couch-to-5K app on my phone (finished week one, thankyouverymuch), and we are now back to my problem area--food.

This is going to sound like a bunch of excuses, and it probably is, but I really want to vent about the problems I see with suggestions for eating healthy AND cheap:

1. Buy in bulk, cook all of it; food for a week: Okay, yes, a bag of dried beans and a bag of rice are going to be dirt cheap, especially at Target. But now I've got five pounds of beans and five pounds of rice.  And you know what, I'm bored after day two, meal four of this.  And my freezer is tiny, and my condo doesn't really have a place for another freezer, so I can't exactly store it all.

2. Don't buy meat/dairy: Several things wrong with this.  One, I like meat.  Two, I like dairy.  Three, my fiance would only tolerate the all-vegetarian diet for about a month (if that) before begging me for something that once walked the Earth or swam the ocean.  Then we're eating out, which rather defeats the purpose on several levels.

3. Buy veggies at the farmers' market: This can be both cheap, and not.  Obviously, really fresh produce, not the kind you find at Stop & Shop, is going to be more expensive.  However, this is probably the "cleanest" food I can eat.  Flip side, this produce doesn't stay as long because it's so clean, and I don't have any convenient markets in my area that I can visit on a daily basis to resupply with veggies and fruits.

4. Plan meals ahead of time; shop the sales: This is probably the easiest thing to do, in theory.  This goes back to, however, buying ten pounds of chicken breast (or whatever is on sale) and then having to either cook it all and eat that for a week and a half, or try to freeze it (see #1).  

5. Don't eat out; cook at home: Numbers 1-4 all preclude that a person prepares meals in his or her own kitchen.  And, let's be honest, I don't love to cook.  I enjoy it from time to time, but it's not something I look forward to doing after coming home from work.  (I wish I had gotten that passion from my mother; it would make life easier.)  And yes, I could just make everything in the Crock Pot, but with only two people eating, I'm once again back to eating the same thing for a week.  (Sidebar: my Crock Pot is about ten years old and getting a little crotchety.  Fingers crossed that it wows someone shopping off my registry.  Also, blender is pretty much done.  No more smoothies for now.)

So, what's a girl to do?  I don't buy frozen meals (unless you count pizza), but I do buy a lot of frozen veggies, because they are cheap and I don't have to use them right away.  I see recipes that look delicious (Thanks, Pinterest) and I'll try some of them out, but then it's all, "I just spent $X on one meal and still have six other days and twenty other meals to eat."  And because I don't cook often (or rather, I don't cook things that are complicated, often), it usually takes me longer than it's supposed to, and then I get impatient.  (Yes, I know, as with anything, if I did it more, I'd be better at it.)

The forum is now open for comment/suggestion/berating/mocking/etc.